If you are in the market to remodel a bathroom, you might have noticed that all of the vendors are extremely excited about giving you ideas for what of their expensive line of products you should buy. A typical remodelling idea book might inspire you with helpful models like these:

Unfortunately, my bathroom looks a little more like this:

And frankly, I am not fucking inspired. The world does not contain enough polished brass fixtures and recessed lighting to turn my bathroom into one of these "models". Or to put it another way: If my bathroom were 500 square feet and had six bright windows in it, do you really think I'd be sitting in Home Depot wondering what to do with it?