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My First Onion Article
Deborah Jacobson, columnist

A day without

By Deborah Jacobson

I read in the paper last week that there was going to be a nation-wide strike of immigrant workers, to show the United States what a day without immigrants might be like.

Honestly, I was all for it--- as a liberal, I believe in acceptance, and people need to realize that as Americans we should accept and help the lesser peoples of the world, even if they are Mexicans and Orientals. Those people need jobs, and more importantly they need access to positive role models like the white Americans they serve every day.

Sure, it would be nice if they weren't overrunning the place the way that they have been recently--- there are just so many of them, they can't possibly all have been literate enough to apply for visas. And they can't possibly all have jobs, either. Especially those Mexicans down on the corner--- I can tell that they are just here for the crack dealing.

But that doesn't mean that they aren't helpful! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have Maria to clean the house for me, or Nguyen taking care of the garden. Lord knows I couldn't afford to pay white people to do those jobs. And that's when it hit me: What if I'm going to be affected by the "day without immigrants"? Fortunately, Maria's day off was today anyway, and I don't think Nguyen can understand any language well enough to know about the strike.

But then I got to thinking about other things--- what about restaurants? What about gas stations? Judging from the slurry of Mexican gibberish coming from the kitchen at Cafe Fino where I like to have lunch, surely there are immigrants in there that might strike? I started getting worried. But by three o'clock, I had forgotten all about it. Lunch was open, just like normal, as was the gas station (which had a credit card reader at the pump, so I didn't even see if there was anyone inside.) Of course my bank was unaffected when I went to cash a check--- you know how bad foreigners are with money.

By dinner time I was actually going out of my way to try to experience the strike--- by going to the grocery store. But Whole Foods was just as bustling as ever, with their delightful staff and healthy food. Come to think of it, I guess they don't really have many immigrants there--- some things are just too important to run sloppily.

So as the day winds down, I must shake my head in disappointment. After all the news press that this "day without immigrants" got, it turns out that the Mexicans and Orientals were too lazy to even strike correctly.

Deborah Jacobson writes lifestyle columns for a variety of newspapers from her home in Palo Alto, California. Would you like to send Deborah a question, suggestion, or comment? You can direct all of your mail to debjacobson@paloaltoherald.com
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