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Real Life Drama

April 22, 2006

This is a story of true-life drama, as this weekend we pitted two natural enemies against each other, The Brush Bandit versus an 80 foot tall palm tree.

What is a Brush Bandit?

The brush bandit is a trailer that can be towed behind a truck. On the fender of the trailer is the adorable raccoon character pictured above, and in the bed of the trailer are a series of shredding, chipping, and crushing blades and wheels. It looks like this:

Maybe to you this sounds like a basic piece of gardening equipment. Maybe you even think that the little raccoon is cute and playful. But a closer look at the Brush Bandit reveals that it is actually the most dangerous thing ever created by the human race. I have never in my life seen so many warning stickers on a single object:

At the risk of spoiling the story for you, I may as well reveal now that the palm tree fails to survive the Brush Bandit. The palm tree was able to mount a posthumous attack by clogging the machine for about an hour, but ultimately it was, inevitably, defeated. The men commanding the Brush Bandit achieved their victory in 3 basic steps:

Step 1: Tie Rope Around Tree

Step 2: Cut and Pull Down Tree

Step 3: Convert Tree into Fine Powder

We managed to repair the (extremely crappy) fence in front of our house today, so the dreaded palm tree is now officially gone from our lives.

The End.

(If you want to know what the palm tree did to us that made us want to invoke upon it the wrath of the Brush Bandit, the answer is that it was shoving our fence down. If it had been inside or outside of our property, we would have left it alone. But the fence was there first, and we're not allowed to move the fence, so the tree had to go. Sorry.)

Posted by rus at 10:10 PM

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